Lesson 19 – Transforming Negative Beliefs
Hey guys, welcome back!
This lesson is titled, Transforming Negative Beliefs.
One of the most frequently asked questions I get is, “Great stuff, Bentinho, but when it comes down to it, how do I transform a negative belief?” For some reason, this is one of the hardest questions to answer. People always say, “You seem to do it so easily…” and in a sense, I do. But how do I do it so easily?
Of course, I have my edges. I have my challenges, as well, and some beliefs are more challenging to transform and take more conscious devotion than other beliefs, when they are noticed. But overall, the reason I am pretty good at transforming negative beliefs is because it has become a very intuitive, clear game for me.
No scenario is exactly the same in terms of dealing with beliefs that come up, because no belief is exactly the same. However, they all have root causes that can usually be traced back to belief in lack (negative beliefs, that is).
If you feel negative emotional energy, you know by now that it is your guidance system kicking in, letting you know there is a belief underneath this moment’s perspective that is being triggered by the scenario that is presently occurring in your life. The trigger could be a thought or an emotion or something someone said to you, but something has triggered an emotional state, and this is pointing you to the fact that you have a belief about what is occurring. Right?
The reason it is sort of hard to give a “set formula” for dealing with beliefs is that every belief requires an individual approach. But if you practice with your beliefs as often as you can, you will get the hang of it—“practice makes perfect.”
As I said, it is difficult to give a formulaic response to the question, “How do I transform negative beliefs? What should I do when a negative belief pops up?” However, there is a type of formula I can give you. I can give you the basis, but you will have to dig into the individual beliefs yourself. You will have to bring the best of your clarity with you into that conversation, into that inner dialog, into that inner game of contrast. I will get into this formula a bit later on in the lesson.
So, a negative emotion comes up. You now know this is a clear signal that your Higher Self disagrees with one of your perspectives about this moment or about what you were just thinking. It is now time for you to do some clean-up, unless you want to endure that negative feeling—unless you want to rest with it and be with it, which is fine; this is a great approach as well.
But at some point, if the same negative emotion keeps coming up, if the same belief keeps getting triggered, it might be worth it for you to look into what that perspective is and how it is out of alignment with who you truly are. After all, you care about your life, you care about your acceleration, you care about your existence here, you care about your theme, about your purpose, about why you are here, about what you wish to do and who you wish to manifest yourself as. You care about how you wish to express Infinity in your particular, unique, and beautiful way.
The Three-Step Process for Transforming Negative Emotions
Step 1: Awareness of the Emotion
The first step upon the arrival of a negative emotion is to recognize that you are aware of it. This is simple because I’m assuming that if you are aware of a negative emotion, then Awareness is already there. So this is effortless; this is obvious (but required).
Step 2: Awareness of the Underlying Belief
Beliefs usually show themselves to us through the emotional state. If you refer back to the previous lesson, The Five Levels of Consciousness, and look at the diagram, you will see that emotions are responding to the belief systems that underlie them.
So, step number 2 is to gain awareness of why the emotion feels the way it feels. By that I mean: What is the perspective that is triggering the emotion? What is your view of the circumstance that triggered the emotion? What is your angle? What is your understanding of the thought you just had that seemingly triggered the emotion? What is underlying the emotion, and to what extent is this in or out of alignment with the infinite Abundance of your Free Spirit?
The further the underlying belief is removed or distorted, vibrationally speaking, from the core frequency of your True Being—which can be described simply as pure Love, Light, Bliss, Abundance, Infinite possibilities—the worse you will feel. We have explored this in previous lessons.
Again, step 1: Be aware of the emotion. Does it feel good? Excellent! Amazing! Stay in that energy—amplify it, enjoy it, milk it. But if it feels bad, then step 2 is to be aware of why it feels bad: “What am I believing is true right now, that is out of alignment with the Truth of Reality?” The only reason you have a bad feeling is because you are believing something that is not true, something that is not in alignment with Creation and the Creator and Infinity and your True Being, your True Spirit, your true theme.
Step 3: Ask Yourself Why You Believe in the Belief
Step number 3 is to ask yourself, “Why do I believe in this belief?” Again, this is a very generic, formulaic overview, and you can tailor it to your own needs. In fact, you ought to at some point, so that becomes dynamic, intuitive play. You know best how you operate.
To repeat: Step number 1 is to become aware of the emotion and determine whether it is in or out of alignment, depending on whether it feels good or bad. If it feels bad, proceed to step number 2. Step number 2 is to become aware of the belief. In other words, “What must I believe is true in order to feel this way about this circumstance?” Step number 3 is to ask yourself, “How do I believe this belief is serving me; how is it benefitting me? What hidden value have I projected onto this belief?”
Sometimes steps 1 and 2 are enough to release a negative belief. You will find this happening more and more effortlessly. Why? Because you will gain a lot of confidence in the benign nature of your Spirit. You have seen from so many angles now that there is only infinite Abundance; that you are unconditionally loved; that you are infinitely worthy. You have seen that you are meant to have and experience everything you genuinely desire; that this is all meant for you; that this is all your play. You know that everything is inseparable, that you are the One Infinite Creator, that you are inseparable from all of Creation, and so on.
The more you can see life through these points of view, the more quickly you can liberate beliefs the moment they are noticed. However, if releasing a negative belief is not instantaneous during steps 1 or 2, then step 3 will dig into why you are holding on to a belief that is fundamentally untrue in the eyes of the Creator, in the eyes of Creation, in the eyes of Consciousness, in the eyes of your Spirit.
So, the third step is to ask yourself, “How is this idea I’m believing in serving me, according to my mind?” You have now come far enough to know that the belief, “I am unworthy of love” no longer serves you, even if there is still an underlying belief or projection of benefit that is being projected onto that belief.
You cannot hold on to a belief that has been made conscious, meaning it has gone through steps 1 and 2—awareness of the emotional state and awareness of the belief that triggered the emotional state. As soon as these two steps are accomplished, the belief ought to leave your belief system. It will naturally release itself. It will liberate you; it will leave you alone. It will transform itself into bliss, into freedom.
If this does not happen, it means you have another underlying perspective about that belief; you still think it is serving you. You may, on some level of your being or in your mind, have a particular belief you think is keeping you safe, is bringing in money, is putting food on the table, is allowing you to protect yourself, is allowing you to stay in control, and so on.
If you have an underlying belief that projects benefit onto a negative belief you consciously know no longer serves you—if you find you are continuing to hold on to that belief—go to step 3 and ask yourself, “How does my mind believe or perceive or project that this negative belief, this lack belief, is keeping me safe or is protecting me or somehow secures my happiness far away in the future?”
If you can find the underlying belief that suggests there is benefit in the negative belief you just spotted in steps 1 and 2, you can truly start to loosen up that belief from your belief system, much like releasing a toxin from your cellular structure.
To loosen up that belief, ask yourself, “How do I believe this idea is serving me, even though I already know that it is not? In what way do I still believe it is serving me? Even though I don’t believe it is serving me, how do I still believe on some level that it is?” In other words, “Why am I still holding on to this idea that I have now made conscious?”
Usually, the answer will be along the lines of, “Well, if I continue to believe I am unworthy of love, then at least I will be able to maintain some kind of control. I will be able to keep my composure and remain controlled around other people. I will be able to act in a certain way and people will like me and appreciate me for it. But if I let go of this idea that I am unworthy of love, then what will happen? I will be free, I will be wild, I will be irresponsible! I won’t be controlling the words that come out of my mouth, and I might say crazy things. Then I may end up not being accepted, not being loved, not being appreciated—I may end up being rejected!”
You may consciously recognize, “Hey, the belief that I am unworthy of love is ridiculous. I know that Existence is one, big, giant Being; one infinite Being that loves itself and creates only more out of itself. I am created out of the One Being. Why would the One Being not love its own Creation when it is created out of its own Being?” You know all this, or you are starting to know all this, so you may consciously recognize that “I am unworthy of love” is not relevant for you anymore; it doesn’t serve you.
However, in step 3 you discovered that you believe that holding on to this idea gives you some kind of mental control and stability that will then allow you to be “more loved.” So, you see how the idea, “I am unworthy of love” translates into: “If I continue to believe that I am unworthy of love, then at least I will be able to control myself. I will be able to keep my composure and then I will be loved.” It is as if the negative belief is trying to find its counterpart by holding on to its own belief—but this is impossible.
You Cannot Win with a Belief on Its Own Level
There is an old video of mine on YouTube, called You Can’t Win from a Belief; Instead, Admit Defeat and Be Free! I will include it in this lesson. I haven’t watched the video in a while, and perhaps I don’t fully agree with everything in it anymore, but the core of it is still very valuable. During that whole meeting, I take one singular approach, which is: You cannot win with a belief on its own level. Instead, you must “admit defeat” to the belief, in order to recognize you are free from it.
To fight with a belief on its own level is redundant; we are not trying to fight beliefs here. A belief is maintained because it keeps you “safe” on that level of understanding yourself. So, a belief has purpose and value at its own level, on its own playing field. Each belief has a frequency level, a frequency domain, a playing field—like a chess board—and it is great at playing that game.
It is useless to try to beat a belief on its own playing field or to try to change the rules of the game on that level. If you wish to transform a belief, all you really need to do is to say, “Well, thank you! This is a great belief! Someone will pick it up some day and it will serve them in their journey. I have used it for the past five years, but now it no longer serves me; it no longer feels good. Thank you so much, belief! You are absolutely right in what you believe in. You are absolutely valid because everything is equally valid. All perspectives are the One’s perspectives; all are the One’s expression of itself.
“You are absolutely adding to the expansion of Creation, you are giving Creation a flavor that it otherwise would not have. Thank you for believing in what you believe in. You are absolutely right from your own point of view; I am not going to argue with that. You will always win from your point of view. However—I am simply not going to play this game. I am going to give you your success. You win the game! You will always win the game on your level, but I am going to win this game by letting you win this game. In this way, I can let go of this plane and move on to the next playing field so that I can win; so that I can free myself.”
Fighting a belief never works because it means you are still believing in that belief, if you are still trying to fight it. You say, “Oh I don’t believe in that belief,” but you really do, otherwise you wouldn’t be fighting it. So, you are still playing according to that belief’s rules.
It may sound paradoxical when I say “admit defeat” because it may feel like, “Oh, doesn’t that mean I keep holding on to a negative belief?” No—on the contrary!
If you keep fighting a negative belief, you are holding on to that playing field realm, that dimensional realm, that frequency domain. But if you simply say, with all your abundant, confident generosity, “Thank you belief. You are absolutely right. I love you so much! You are right; I can never win with you, and I am absolutely unworthy of love from that perspective. But that’s OK—because I don’t believe in it.” You see the difference?
So, admit defeat to your beliefs or give them permission to continue on in their own playing field. You transcend to another frequency domain altogether by leaving behind the belief system that no longer serves you—by loving it, by appreciating it, by thanking it and saying, “You are absolutely right from your own point of view. But I am more than this! It was a pleasure working with you—or sometimes not so much—but still I appreciate all the lessons you gave me. Now I am ready to move on. I can let you be you and transform myself to the next level, to the next stage of belief systems, to the next frequency domains of understanding myself and being conscious of myself.”
Review of the Belief Transformation Steps
Let’s do a quick review of the steps.
Step number 1:Notice the emotional state. This is effortless. You already do this, otherwise you wouldn’t even ask yourself this question; otherwise you wouldn’t even be here. Notice the emotional state; be aware of it and determine whether it feels good or bad. If it feels bad, continue with step number 2.
Step number 2: Become aware of the underlying belief that makes you feel this way and to what extent is it in or out of alignment. In other words, to what extent does the emotion feel good or bad? If it feels very bad, this simply means you have a very distorted point of view that Creation does not really know what to do with. The current point of view does not compute with the fundamental laws of the Universe.
Step 2 may, in itself, relinquish the belief. You become aware of the negative emotion, and then you think, “Oh, wait a second, this emotion relates to what I believe about this circumstance. I believe that if I don’t continue to work at my job, I will lack money. If I lack money, I won’t be able to support my family, I won’t be able to live my dreams. In 60 years, I won’t be able to retire. I believe this belief is keeping me safe.”
Having already gained so much confidence in the abundant nature of Reality, sometimes it is enough to simply see the negative belief and watch it instantaneously go “Poof!” because your conviction, your allegiance, has shifted so much that you have faith in the abundance of this inseparable Universe created by your Higher Self. In this case, you no longer even need the contrast of step 3, the proof of step 3, the investigation of step 3.
At some point, you will find that for many beliefs, as soon as you are aware of the negative core idea, you will immediately let it go. You will let it go because you already know that you are abundantly loved, infinitely worthy, infinitely capable, and that everything co-exists simultaneously. There is no lack ever, anywhere, at any time, in any place, or in any dimension, because it is all contained within the invisible, infinite, here-and-now of Consciousness.
Knowing this, it becomes very easy to release these beliefs. If a belief still lingers, even though you are aware of it—if it still feels like it forms a portion of your energy field—then continue with step 3.
Step number 3: Ask yourself, “Why am I still holding on to this belief?” And therefore, “How is it serving me?” If you can discover how you believe the negative belief is serving you, you can show the negative belief, through contrast, that it is untrue—without fighting it. (This is, in a sense, step 4. It is really part of step 3, but let’s call it step 4.)
Yes, the belief is true from its own point of view, but see how, in the greater scheme of things, the negative belief is actually not accurate. It is not the complete picture; it is not true. It is not what resonates for you or what is relevant for you. It is not what you should, ought to, or have to believe in anymore.
So, step number 3 makes you aware of the reason you are holding on to the negative belief you have become aware of. For example, your reason might be something like: “If I let go of the belief that I am unworthy of love, then I will go pall-mall, wild-and-crazy. I won’t be in control, and people will reject me and not like me. So, in order to gain love, I have to keep believing that I am not loved.”
You see how this works in very strange, illogical ways! But that is how the mind works. Its sole purpose is to defend you, to make sure you are protected, to ensure your happiness 500 years from now. It doesn’t care about the Now; it only cares about your safety. It only cares about survival. It only cares about protecting you.
Step number 3 will always show you something along those lines of, “Oh, I’m holding on to this negative belief because I believe it keeps me safe, because I believe it will get me to where I want to be,” even though you can see in step 4, through contrast, that it is not true.
Step number 4: What is step 4? Step 4 is showing the belief its flawed premise or its incomplete perspective or its incorrect idea. Now that you have identified the negative belief and the reason you are holding onto it (you think it is keeping you safe), in step 4 you put it in contrast to something else.
Holding a Candle Flame to the Sun
In a sense, step 4 is like holding a candle flame to the sun. You have been believing in this candle flame; you are completely protective of your candle flame (which stands for the belief, in this analogy). You believe it holds a lot of power, that it holds a lot of heat and light. And that is true—again, don’t fight with the belief. It is true that the candle provides light, safety, warmth, and so on.
However, when you put the candle flame next to the sun, suddenly, you gain perspective! You grow up. You expand your consciousness. You remember more of who you are and of how the Universe actually works. Your allegiance starts to naturally shift from the candle flame, which you previously idolized (because that was all you could see in the dark, and it kept you safe), to the light of the sun. You have regained the light of your Self, the true light of your Spirit, of your Higher Self, of your true expansive Consciousness.
In this abundant state, you know that you no longer need to grasp the candle flame; it no longer needs your attention. You can holistically shift, or even merge, the candle flame into the sun. Use whatever works best—metaphorically speaking, symbolically speaking. You can completely let yourself be absorbed by that sunlight, by the brightness, by the infinite Abundance of your Being.
This is just an analogy, but this is what we do in step 4. You see a negative belief, and perhaps you even see the underlying belief that causes you to hold on to the safety the negative belief provides. You know it doesn’t serve you, but you still hold onto it because, on some level, you think it does serve you.
Then, you pull in the sun, the true light of Abundance. You can do this through a mini-meditation on infinite Abundance, through a little contemplation, or you can look back upon your life and see that you have always have been supported, even when you created the illusion that you were not supported.
There are many ways to do this. This is where it becomes very personal; this is where it becomes hard to teach a formulaic response to the question, “How do I deal with limiting beliefs?” This is where you come in, where your practice comes in, where your Consciousness comes in. Once you have seen a negative belief and you know why you are holding onto it, it is up to you to play with it, to remember how loved you are, to know and bring in the vibration and the knowledge of how amazing you are, of how connected you are, and of how everything is possible.
When you do this, the frequency you are conjuring up within yourself will overwhelm and absorb the candle flame—the negative belief that tried to keep you safe. The belief will be overwhelmed by your true safety, which is Faith, which is Freedom, which is Surrender, which is Trust, which is Confidence itself, which is Consciousness mastering its vibratory state. You will no longer feel the need to control the situation.
In a previous meeting, a while back, I said something along the lines of, “If you lack vibrational control, then you need situational control. But you don’t need situational control if you regain your vibrational control.” Vibrational control equates to confidence, trust, and faith that circumstances will take care of themselves. A couple lessons from now, we will dive into that more deeply—into the trust factor, into letting go of the details.
I know this is a lot of information. This lesson contains a lot of “surrounding material,” but that is exactly the nature of this work, of this lesson, which is that it is really up to you. You have to gain perspective on how this process works in general, and then you have to try it out, practice it, and make it your own.
So, once again, to review: You see a negative belief, and the belief tells you that it serves you to hold onto it because it keeps you safe in this or that way. But the belief is based in lack. It is based in lack of trust, lack of faith, lack of abundance. It is based on believing there is a lack of support, a lack of love, a lack of possibilities, and so on. Now, you are going to show these lack beliefs that their premise is flawed; that they are based on incomplete perspectives.
How do you do this? By raising your frequency by any means necessary (of course, keeping your integrity intact, but other than that, by any means necessary). This can be a visualization, a walk in nature, reading a paragraph of a book, watching one of my videos, calling a friend and expressing what’s going on, or by being absolutely quiet and connecting to the presence of All-That-Is and feeling the brimming nature of Abundance that way. Use the method that is the easiest way for you to tap into Abundance; to tap into a higher frequency state of Being. Do this when you are looking upon, going back and forth between, or holding in your Consciousness any negative lack beliefs.
Through raising your frequency, you enter another domain of energy, and by being in that higher frequency state, you suddenly have access to different, higher vibrational thoughts and ideas and perspectives and views, Suddenly, it feels natural again to believe in Abundance! When you bring this energy into a negative belief, the belief that previously seemed to be really real and bright, now pales in comparison and is reabsorbed into the true light of the true abundant frequency that you have brought yourself into.
At this point, the previous idea you had about lack of security seems silly, because you brought in the contrast of, “There is only, ever security. I have never actually been harmed. This is all my Higher Self’s choice; it is all happening through benign will. This is all happening in perfect accordance with what is beneficial for me. I am learning, I am expanding, and I have access to infinite parallel realities.”
Any view that is expansive, or any perspective that is in alignment with my Empowerment teachings, is also in alignment with the Higher Self’s views and with how Existence sees Creation. So, applying any of my teachings can also be a way to raise your frequency, to understand, to see the Universe from a holistic and expanded point of view. When you do this, you will feel amazing, you will feel expanded, you will feel great, you will feel connected, you will feel infinitely supported, abundant, and loved.
This is faith—it is natural faith, it is automatic “duh-obvious” confidence, it is obvious trust. The Universe has never worked in any other way but to support you completely. When you see this and you bring this view with you into the negative belief, through this contrast, the negative belief will be completely transformed and reabsorbed.
This process may sound long and complicated, but if you stick to these four steps and practice them a few times, it becomes very dynamic, organic, and intuitive.
Homework
Your homework for this lesson is to take a look at your negative beliefs, let’s say at least 5 of them, and write them down.
During the day, whenever you notice a negative emotion, the first moment you notice it (or when you notice a bit of a contraction), stop everything you are doing, if you can, and write down how you feel.
- Step number 1: When you notice a negative emotion, write it down and note whether it feels good or bad.
- Step number 2: Ask yourself, “What belief was just triggered by my circumstances or by my own imagination and thoughts? Where did my mind wander off to that caused the belief to be triggered? What is the belief that got triggered? What do I believe about this scenario that made me feel bad?”
Write down the belief and pinpoint it as accurately as you can. Turn it into a statement, if you can. Give the belief a rating for how far is this out of alignment, with 10 being the furthest out of alignment (being absolutely devastating to your emotional body) and 0 being totally in alignment (but then you wouldn’t have written it down). A rating of 1 is a subtle feeling like, “I just noticed this tiny, little contraction.” It is good to practice with these subtle beliefs too, because they make you sublimely aware of your vibration throughout everyday life. So, do the process with these very tiny contractions, as well.
So, give the belief a rating from 1 to 10, with “10” being the furthest out of alignment and “1” being ever-so-slightly off-track, off Abundance; just a slight little fear about the security of your future, for example.
At this point, the belief may immediately resolve itself. If so, you will feel great because it will immediately reconnect you to infinite Abundance; it will immediately resolve itself into the greater “Sun.” You will feel the candlelight burning up and merging into the sunlight: “Wow! Yes, this is integrated! I now see that this belief is not true.” - Step number 3: If you are still holding onto the belief, even though logically you know it doesn’t serve you, then proceed to step 3 and ask yourself, “How do I believe this belief is serving me?” Write down your answer. Sometimes you may write a paragraph or so, other times, just a short sentence. But write down what comes up for you. Why are you holding on to that belief? How have you projected benefit onto that belief? How do you believe it is serving you to continue to see things from that point of view? How is it keeping you safe? And so on. Write down answers to all these (or other) questions you ask yourself.
- Step number 4: Once you have finished writing, go to step 4, if the belief isn’t already naturally resolved. Raise your frequency. You have written everything down, and you can always return to it. But for now, you are going to remember what is true about Creation. You are going to remember how connected you are, how infinitely abundant you are, how free you are, how expanded you are, how connected you are, how infinitely capable you are, how infinitely loved and worthy you are.
Raise your vibration using any means, using any permission slip, using your imagination, using any practices I have previously given, or by watching a video or by doing some push-ups—whatever works for you, whatever gets you in that state of being psyched about being alive and being a co-Creator. Enter that state to the best of your ability.
If you practice this, it will become easier and easier. At some point, it will be instantaneously under your control. You will get “bliss attacks” more and more frequently, if you allow yourself to have them. This takes a little bit of time, but then again, it doesn’t take any time whatsoever. Just practice! Practice makes perfect, especially in this case.
So, now you have reached a higher state of Consciousness. You feel abundant, you feel blissful, you no longer feel the negative belief. Now take this higher state with you and look at your piece of paper again. You will almost start to giggle as you see the negative belief you thought was serving you. But instead, you say, “Oh, poor little mind! I love you so much; thank you so much for your service. Your perspective is absolutely valid from its own point of view, but it is absolutely, ridiculously untrue from the greater point of view of things.”
When you do this, the belief re-merges back into you. You have positively integrated the negative belief. By “integrated” I don’t mean you made it yours, I mean you have transformed it. You have integrated the shadow side of yourself—the shadowy side of yourself within which the candle flame seemed really important. But now that you have the sun, you have reintegrated, you have mastered, you have transformed the shadow into pure Light. And so the candle flame no longer even appears to you.
I was almost going to say, “Does that make sense?” But I trust that it does, and if not, reread this lesson a couple of times or listen to the audio or video recording again. And practice; really practice.
Do this process with at least five negative emotions that come up for you between now and the start of the next lesson. You can do it more frequently, if you want. This is a really helpful practice, and you will get better at it very quickly—even after doing it just one time. The second time you do it will be easier, more intuitive, more fun. The third time will be even more instantaneous and more fun.
This will be a very rapid process for you—I guarantee it. It may take some practice, but it will progress very quickly in the direction of the intuitive, clear play that I mentioned at the start of this lesson. This intuitive, clear play is what makes the question, “How do I transform a negative belief?” so hard to answer; it is what makes this so personal.
You are going to make it more personal; you are going to bring it more under your control; you are going to master your vibration in your very own way. But this is the overview I give for you to start practicing with. You can then make it your own. You can collapse the four steps all into one instantaneous step, if you want to. Do whatever works for you, but go through this process five times between now and your next lesson. Listen to the video and / or read the text a couple more times, as well.