Lesson 12 – Balancing Love with Wisdom

Hey friends, welcome back!

This lesson is titled, “Balancing Love with Wisdom.” Those of you who have gone through the first course of Enlightenment may remember that, at the end of that course, there is a lesson titled, “Balancing Wisdom with Love.” That lesson was titled as such because the self-realization approach (which includes the Enlightenment courses and the Infinity course) is more prone to being taken a little bit into the extreme of wisdom. This is kind of like the “yogic approach,” where yogis retreat from life, sit in caves, and just see from a place of wisdom, so to speak (of course I am generalizing).

So, the path of self-realization is more prone to the extreme of wisdom, whereas the path of self-empowerment and self-actualization is usually more prone to the extreme of love. You might wonder, “Can one really have too much love or wisdom?” It is not a matter of having too much love. It is a matter of that love not being balanced by wisdom, or of that wisdom not being balanced with a healthy amount of love infused into that perspective. In a way, the more balanced the perspective is, the higher the degree of love that can be experienced and understood and given, as well as the higher the degree and precision of the wisdom that can be provided.

Basically, in order to gain more wisdom, you must also become more balanced in love. And in order to gain more love, you must also balance that love and passion for love with a passion for wisdom; with the inclusion of wisdom. Neither can really grow without becoming more balanced. By definition, in order to increase your love, you must increase the balance of love and wisdom, not just increase the love side of the equation. I will give some practical examples a little later.

Since the Empowerment courses are all about self-actualization, people can sometimes be prone to getting a bit lost in the idea of, “I am a person inside of a world.” That is why the Enlightenment side is also highly recommended. It leads you through the depths of Consciousness, retracing the Creation process from “I am the person” to “I-AM” to “I-Awareness” to beyond “I” altogether. This will gradually empty you out of believing that you are a separate individual inside of an external “real world.”

Wisdom Must Be Balanced with Love

The enlightenment, or self-realization, side allows you to see from the vantage point of wisdom. It allows you to see and discern the truth. However, the truth can become an obstacle to your energy pattern as an individuation if it does not also accept that “the illusion” is here for a purpose. If all you do is see through the illusion, you might not actually act upon the inspirations for which you entered into this illusion to begin with.

This is one example of wisdom being out of balance. In this case, there is not enough love or acceptance or appreciation for the fact that the illusion is relatively real, even though it is not actually real. But acting as-if it is real—knowing that the experience one extracts from and contributes to the illusion of physical reality is valid—this in itself is a valuable and real experience. And that is exactly why the illusion is not irrelevant.

Traditional teachings often make the mistake of stating that, “Because this is all an illusion, that means it is all irrelevant.” Or, “Because there is no personal identity, that means you should not be happy or excited about anything. You should not have desires. You should not have a momentum towards any particular direction, because it is all false.” This is a classic example of too much wisdom that cannot become wiser without first including more love.

Love Must Be Balanced with Wisdom

On the other hand, if you have too much love, you might run into the example that pertains to a lot of 4th Density wanderers. These beings come into this plane heavily oriented towards love and service-to-others. Sometimes they become so service-to-others oriented and so loving that they martyr themselves. They actually miss some crucial understandings that would otherwise have allowed them to be much more radiant, much more balanced, and of much more prolonged service here in their lifespan. In order to be of greater service to others, sometimes we need to take a step back from our excessive need and impulse and desire to be of service to others.

A classic example of this is those who are involved in activism. Sometimes people get involved in activism for very selfish reasons, in my opinion. But in most cases, a classic activist is someone who wants so badly to give to the world, who wants to fix the problems, that they neglect to see that these problems are created first of all by the energy state of the human collective Consciousness. Out of love, he or she starts fighting against what is seen, to the point of burnout. They may join Greenpeace, for example, and fight the whale hunting ships.

They become very driven in that direction, but they never really take a step back to realize more of themselves, or to realize, “Hey, maybe everyone has their own free will, and maybe the highest value of this life is to explore free will in all of the ways we can. Maybe the highest value is not necessarily to never kill, or to never do this or that, or to never have unfairness.”

Perhaps a healthy dose of unfairness and conflict and challenge is actually the catalyst that all of these different-yet-one Consciousnesses come together for in this illusory play—to learn from in an accelerated fashion. And maybe by taking away all of the problems for other people, or by wanting to do so, you are actually going against the flow of this collective desire to learn certain lessons that can only be learned with a certain degree of conflict or opposition or challenge or struggle.

The wisdom perspective would see and understand that every single individual has their own Higher Mind and Higher Self that is taking care of them perfectly. The wisdom perspective would understand that, even if a person’s lower self is not aware, even if they are a little bit off track or off course or misguided, that is still the One Infinite Creator’s free will, though perhaps in a distorted form. Each individual is a Free Agent of the Infinite, and this must be at least understood and appreciated and respected before any action is taken against it; before any action is taken to “correct” an imbalance in the world.

Many activists can be too much into the “love” aspect of wanting to be of service and wanting to fix things and wanting this to be a better world and wanting things to be fair for everyone. They forget to use the vantage point of wisdom. Since the self-actualization / self-empowerment side can, in some ways, be more prone to the overcompensation of love at the expense of wisdom, this lesson is titled, “Balancing Love with Wisdom.”

Every Being Has Their Own Higher Self

The main point I want you to realize is what I have already addressed in the example above. The best way—in my experience, and generally the most applicable and efficient way—to balance an excessive need for wanting to love and care and make sure everyone is okay, is to take a step back. Take a deep breath and perhaps apply one of the relaxation and awakening and awareness tools you learned in the Enlightenment courses.

Do whatever is necessary to basically calm yourself and detach a little bit from the overly-excessive momentum in the direction of what you would call “love.” Actually, it is “misguided love,” because it is lacking wisdom. You may be about to burn yourself out, or you may be finding that you are creating a great amount of struggle and opposition from the outside world—even though all you are trying to do is help.

This is the perfect time to take a step back and understand that you might not be seeing things clearly; that you might not be as right and righteous as you believe you are by wanting to be of service to others. Maybe, in order to be of service to others more fully and more holistically and more truly, you need to gain some awareness first. You need to gain some more wisdom first, before you can become efficient in your service to others.

So, take a deep breath, relax, take one step back—or maybe two steps back. Maybe completely stop being of service to others in the way you are used to, and realize that your meditation right now is indirectly, but very powerfully, being of greater service to others. This is because now, instead of continuing to apply all of your power to trying to “fix something out there” or to “take care of other people,” you are having the intention to first align yourself more clearly, more holistically, in a more balanced way with yourself, with your Higher Self, and other beings’ Higher Selves.

From the vantage point of peace and ease and expansion and detachment, you can now start including the perception or understanding or idea or reality or truth that everyone has their own Higher Mind, their own non-physical mind. This is the most generally applicable tool to help you ease off of the “high horse” of being excessively of service to others. It allows you to balance it with wisdom.

Everyone has their own Higher Self that is taking care of them. Each person’s Higher Self is very aware of what is going on in that person’s life. It does not need your lower mind to choose what is best for them, what is fair for them, or what needs to be fixed. This is the instant “wisdom injection” you can give yourself at those points where your service for love becomes a little bit too blind (or perhaps a little too enthusiastic) to see the fuller picture of what is actually happening.

Now you can devote yourself! Use that power of devotion; do not kill that power of devotion. Don’t stop the momentum, but redirect it a little bit by injecting yourself with more wisdom. This way, you can be devoted, but you are actually more internally devoted. Maybe it is time to take a break from excessive external action and from feeling responsible for the world. Maybe it is time to expand into yourself and realize how everything is actually already perfect.

We Agree to Every Illusory Experience

Here is another tool or wisdom injection you can use. Realize that every appearance is essentially illusory, and chosen or co-created by the participating Consciousnesses. The participating Consciousnesses are co-agreeing to experience that illusion, in that particular way. They are choosing to use the universal energy in parallel realities, to use configurations of atoms and molecules and quantum particles, to coalesce this or manifest that—so that it seems very real for them in that particular way. This is the only way for them to learn a particular lesson.

If you can see beyond the surface and notice that, even if you are highly uncomfortable with the situation they have created for themselves, it is not your business to interfere with what their free will is choosing to accomplish. Beyond the surface, you will see that everything is already perfect, even if on the surface, something very unfair might be unfolding.

I am not saying not to take action when something unfair seems to be going on. Check in with yourself, be really intuitive about it. In general, take action when injustice seems to be happening. But when immediate physical injustice does not seem to be happening, see beyond the surface. Realize, first of all, that everything is essentially perfect as it is, and that each being’s Higher Self is in full support. See that everyone has their own Higher Self taking care of them, and that you do not always know better (or rarely ever know better) what is best for someone else’s journey. The Higher Self has already determined what is best and has chosen that experience.

When you encounter injustice, use it as a reflection: “What does this mean about me? How does this trigger my own lack beliefs and definitions? How can I expand in a more holistic, wisdom-oriented view, while still being of service to others and while still being inspired to pay attention?”

Everything Is Rested in Timeless Perfection

Another tool you can use is to naturally rest as Awareness and notice that everything is a timelessly perfect appearance of Consciousness. Everything is already perfect. Everything is already rested in timeless perfection. Everything is already being of service to the One, exactly as it is—even if you personally, with your conscious physical mind, may not like what you are seeing because you learned to define it in a very negative way, and therefore you are triggered.

Notice Your Own Triggers

You need to have wisdom. If you wish to truly be of service to others, you must have wisdom to be able to discern when you are personally triggered; to notice when you are pasting your ideas and ideals onto someone else’s choice for their life and journey. Without the wisdom to see this, you are actually being more detrimental than beneficial.

Someone who truly wants to be of service, rather than being selfish, must sometimes take the blow of feeling very uncomfortable with the choices others make for themselves. Let’s say a parent is very uncomfortable about their children smoking weed, for example. That parent needs to take ownership and understand what is triggering them in that moment. (I am not endorsing the use of weed, I am just using it as an example.) When that parent gets triggered, they must understand that they are coming from their own personal trigger, first and foremost. And when they realize that, they can then make the most balanced decision for that scenario.

If we want to be of service, rather than just being selfish, we must clear out our own negative definitions about things and feel truly in alignment. We must notice the perfection of everything, and know that everyone has a Higher Self. Listen and pay attention to what the other person’s Higher Self is asking of its lower self. And then, if appropriate or asked for, you can give your two cents. You can demonstrate by example, first and foremost, what you feel is in highest alignment and what would balance-out that situation, rather than to interfere with the other person’s life choices—even if you are uncomfortable due to a definition you have learned to paste onto that particular experience.

Go back to the Emotional Guidance System. If you are uncomfortable with what you see out there, it is not because you are uncomfortable with what you see out there—it is because your Higher Self disagrees with what you are thinking about what you are seeing out there. So, if you are triggered into action, and you believe you are trying to be of service to others, you must first sift through the whole emotional reaction and investigate why you feel triggered by that event to begin with.

Occasionally, it may be that quick action is required; that an unjust situation does indeed require you to interfere and take action and balance-out the situation and look at it all later. Sometimes that is absolutely valid and relevant. But generally speaking, for most people (especially in the West), these scenarios do not need your intervention. I do not advise you to react to scenarios in that way, because it is imbalanced. You are not actually helping. Your actions are usually more detrimental than beneficial; they are usually more disrupting and confusing than clarifying.

So, be really clear within yourself first: “Why did I get triggered? Because I have learned to define this in a negative way. Higher Self disagrees, therefore I feel bad. It is not that person’s fault; she is choosing something that is relevant for her on some level.” Whether you take action or not is up to your highest intuition. But you cannot tap into your highest intuition until you have cleared out your personal biases. Otherwise, you are just reacting to the circumstances—and often fueling the fire and making it worse.

We must balance our love with wisdom, and sometimes take a step back; take a step into emotional detachment, and observe and use the Emotional Guidance System: “I feel bad because I am defining this in a way that my Higher Self disagrees with. If I now take action based on my trigger, I am actually contradicting my own Higher Self. I am not trusting what my Higher Self is communicating to me. First, I need to feel holistic and good and balanced and clear about what is occurring. Only then can I take action in a way that will benefit and truly balance-out the circumstances.”

Don’t Take Away Someone Else’s Catalyst

In general, balancing love with wisdom is about realizing that, in order to be more of service, we have to step up our own game; we have to investigate ourselves and become less arrogant. The problem with many people who have an imbalanced tendency towards activism is that they believe their ideas are right. They feel inspired for the sake of all and for the sake of goodness and for the sake of fairness and equality and preservation of nature, and so on. And, in essence, I agree with all of these principles. And, in essence, Higher Self agrees with all of these principles. However, we cannot always see why things happen the way they happen, using just our physical minds.

We need to be humble enough to investigate and understand what our true desire is. Is it our desire to paste our ideas, our limiting scope of life, onto everyone else and call that “fairness and justice and equality?” Is it our desire to force the world to be that way? Is that truly being of service to others, or is that in some way being of service to self by not allowing this arrogance to melt away?

This is the difficulty for those who have an imbalance towards love or service to others. Their love is not what it could be, were it to be balanced with wisdom. The challenge for these people is to accept the fact that their ideas are not the “right ideas” for everyone. They want so much for the other person to find balance for themselves, and they want so much to help with that, that they can get caught up in the illusion that this life and physicality are more important than the non-physical lessons that are taken from this life.

You have to understand that, from the Higher Self’s point of view, this physical life is just a game. It is not intimidating at all; it is like a dream. It really is like a dream. Sometimes a Consciousness will put itself through physical challenges that seem to be based on injustice and oppression and such, but most of the time, the overarching Consciousness is okay with this experience, which is happening to only a small portion of its Consciousness (namely, the physical focus).

From our physically-focused, limited view as “helpers,” we want to take away all the struggle and suffering in the world. But we do not realize that the suffering and the struggle is chosen by those Higher Selves, in order to extract learning and benefit and soul expansion. And so we can actually be a detriment. By thinking we are helping; by taking away the physical suffering and challenge and catalyst (and by feeling so righteous and good about ourselves for doing so), we are actually diminishing the growth of that soul.

So, think twice before you take away someone else’s catalyst; it might be their greatest tool for waking up and learning and expanding at a soul level. Sure, maybe you can help someone feel less physical pain, but in doing so you may actually postpone their expansion. Which one outweighs the other?

From the overarching perspective, I can say from my own experience that the lessons are so much more valuable. The expansion that is added to the soul through the use of physical catalyst is much more appreciated than the physical discomfort that is sometimes experienced to get there. From the more wisdom-oriented point of view, it is worth the struggle. We cannot become more balanced in love and light if we do not balance our love with wisdom in this way.

I hope these examples will suffice for now; that they are enough to help you get clear on how this works in everyday life applications.


For this lesson’s homework, I want you to check in with yourself and see where you might be overly enthusiastic about being of service to others; where you are not appreciating the timing of awakening and the nature of catalyst.

In general, however, I do recommend that we be of service to others as much as we can, with as much love and passion as possible. But understand that the only real way to teach someone is to give them clarity about why they are continuously creating the pain they are experiencing. You can show them first of all by example, and secondarily by offering this wisdom to them, if they ask for it or wish to receive it. But honor their free will. If they do not want to take in this wisdom, it is not the time for them to take it. Be humble enough to realize you don’t know better than their Higher Self.

All we can do is to be an example of how to live differently, more consciously, more deliberately; to be an example of how to become more self-realized and self-actualized. If we embody this by example and share this news with others, then instead of taking away their physical catalyst, we can instead offer new reflections as to why that physical catalyst is there to begin with. In this way, we are actually offering empowerment instead of disempowerment, and we are not postponing their soul’s journey.

So, stop postponing other beings’ expansion. Instead, try to clarify for them why they are creating what they are creating. Show, by example, how they can become more conscious and deliberate; how they can create other experiences for themselves, from a place of holistic clarity about their own soul’s being and journey. This is the only true way to empower people to make changes for themselves. You cannot help someone if they do not have the clarity to sustain it.

“Give a man a fish and you will feed him for one day…” but you will actually be postponing the moment when he finally asks himself the question, “Is there not a way I can learn how to fish for myself?” On the other hand, you can simply offer him, “I can teach you how to fish, if you want. If not, that is fine too. Maybe you have to struggle a few more times to get food and fish, and then you will come back to me and ask for advice. That’s fine too… whatever you need for your journey.”

“I see that you are struggling; that you are not getting the food and fish you want every day. But, I am not going to give you this fish right now, because that would be selfish on my part. That would not be love balanced with wisdom; it would be love blinded by obsession and my own limited, arrogant, self-righteous point of view. So instead, I am going to offer to teach you how to fish. I am going to offer you lessons on how to fish, so that you can catch those fish for yourself. Do you want this—yes or no? If yes, excellent!”

In this way, you have empowered someone. For the rest of their life, you have given them the tools they need to wake up and have a bigger, more clarity-based perspective on how they are creating their own life; on how they can utilize and interpret their life in much more efficient and beneficial and pleasant ways.

I hope this makes sense. Ponder it and apply it to your everyday life. Check in with yourself and release any tension you might have along the lines of, “Oh, I need to be of service. I need to take away people’s pain.” Understand that pain is part of the game of waking up, and that souls agree to these experiences as part of their expansion.

So, do not take the pain away, but by all means, educate, clarify and be an expression. Be a radiator. Be an example of love and wisdom and light and empowerment. By all means, do that as much as you want, but stay within your own joy. Stay within your own field, where your own authority actually applies. Do not meddle with other people’s realities.

Thank you. Ponder this, and I will see you in the next lesson.

Got a question, or just want to share?
Discuss this lesson in the forums!

Discuss this lesson