Lesson 21 – Balancing Wisdom with Love

Those who feel betrayed by life in some way—which is the large majority of humans—have a tendency to turn spiritual teachings of this nature and directness into a philosophy of life to hide behind. The result of a truly greater spiritual awareness, or wisdom, will always be a more intimate, loving connection to life and all of its parts. If this is not so, it may be an indication that the teachings are being manipulated to some extent for the sake of not having to face one’s fear of being hurt or fooled by appearances once again. Bentinho Massaro

Earlier on, in Stage 2 of Lesson #12, I recommended that you make it a habit to realize that you are not your thoughts and emotions, as soon as you encounter situations that involve other-selves triggering charged ideas in you.

Now, I also recommend you make it a habit to immediately follow up the recognition “I am not my thoughts and emotions” with the balancing act of feeling Love/Forgiveness for your thoughts and emotions, other-selves, and whatever other appearances you are realizing as “I am not this” to include them in your atmosphere, or attitude, of love, and to extend to them your confidence that all is well.

Wisdom tells me I am nothing, Love tells me I am everything. Between these two, my life flows. Nisargadatta Maharaj

Understanding this lesson’s place in the greater context

I wasn’t immediately sure whether or not to include this lesson here, since it is of a fairly “advanced” order, dealing with the subtler balances that usually only become relevant later on in one’s journey, and also because this lesson doesn’t necessarily point directly to going from Person to Presence (although it really does indirectly).

Also, I prefer to elaborate on it more in other courses that come later in the course progression of Trinfinity Academy.

Nevertheless, I felt strongly that this lesson’s energy should be present in Course #1, as it may balance your thinking or understanding of the material found in the first two teachings, which lean somewhat more toward the wisdom side of the spectrum of Self-Realization, for the purpose of achieving experiential results of transcendence and realization rapidly.

The fact that this course—especially Chapter Three—is somewhat intense in its negation of the human self you have known yourself to be for so long may create the potential for its information to be misused by an imbalanced person as a way to avoid having to acknowledge feelings of a negative, misaligned nature, or admit personality flaws that should ideally be released or balanced out.

For example, the response to everything could become: “Who cares—it’s not what I really am anyway.”

This attitude may initially feel and actually be a really freeing approach to counter having been identified with the person and its meanings for so long—having cared about every little detail for so long—but in the long run this can cause some energetic imbalances and unnecessary conflict with other-selves.

Hence, I chose to include this lesson at this time, even though it may seem a little out of place as it has some of the more advanced Third Teaching influences contained within it, albeit simplified.

This anchor point of Love will make a small, yet eventually significant course-correction to the river of your rapidly expanding wisdom and prevent you from becoming a wisdom extremist, unless that really is your conscious choice. In that case, I cannot stop you :-).

This basic anchor point will emanate the frequency of love/forgiveness into your being and understanding, so that this, too, simultaneously will grow within you, alongside your wisdom and independence.

The Neti Neti Trap

The Neti Neti Meditation has a potential trap when misused by an unbalanced entity, that out of fear of feeling further thoughts and emotions of a potentially hurtful nature compensates by leaning too far in the direction of separation from things, thoughts, feelings, and other-selves—to the point where one becomes, in a sense, disembodied from the well-rounded abundance of being connected to all-that-is, appreciative of all-that-is, and thus vibrating in harmony with all-that-is.

Neti Neti, as Trinfinity Academy offers and suggests its usage, is meant primarily for explorative means, for discovery, and it is not intended as a guidebook for living life in general.

“I am not this, not that” should, in a sense, be a private practice: something you practice to see with greater clarity your assumed limited identities and to then realize that those are not true. This is freedom; it is wisdom.

However, this approach should not turn into something you propagate or turn into a law.

As you explore Neti Neti’s purpose—which is to dis-identify from false, unconscious assumptions regarding who or what you truly are, that have caused the large majority of your suffering as a human being—it is tempting to use this newfound freedom as a “stick to beat smaller sticks with.”

I urge you to refrain from this type of behavior, and to not take your Neti Neti too seriously; or if you do, to Neti Neti that seriousness as well, and see that you are not the fearful extremist you are pretending to be.

I also encourage you to not take it on as a life philosophy, for when used as such, it is extremely flawed and leads to imbalance. This imbalance can at any point in one’s process be corrected by feeling forgiveness/love to one’s self and the things one rejects as “not being who one truly is.” But why create imbalance in the first place if you can instead utilize this practice in the way it is intended?

I trust you will use this exercise only to come to conclusions regarding the fact that your existence is more permanent and undisturbed by appearances than you previously assumed, and you are not as much the things that appear to you as you are the Presence they appear to.

I trust that you will not end up consistently invalidating life’s events, things, feelings, other-selves, or any other experience for that matter, and that you will have a full-hearted, all-embracing attitude toward whatever comes up in life. You—the adept—will be brave, honest, and accepting of the being that you have created yourself to be, even when it shows itself as something you are not proud of.

I trust that you will face the facts, accept the misalignments, forgive the ignorance, and let it dissolve lovingly into wisdom, balanced with love.

Nevertheless, I will give you a balancing exercise below which is fruitful for everyone regardless of whether they are too extreme (making it too personal of an endeavor out of fear) in their application of Neti Neti, or not.

Appearances Don’t Hurt, Untrue Beliefs Do

You see, many of us feel, inaccurately so, that we are victims of reality, of appearances. Nothing could be further from the truth, as we are in truth creating our own reality 100% of the time (more on this in the Third Teaching).

This misperception regarding the nature of reality—that one is a victim of appearances—causes us to grasp onto teachings that reject life’s appearances as “not being who we are” as we feel it gives us a valid excuse for being rude, dismissive, or avoidant.

While understanding what one is and what one isn’t is essentially wisdom, it turns into merely another type of personally clung-to drama and distortion if we take on that truth and hide behind it, afraid to feel, acknowledge, accept, admit, and forgive the fact that we feel hurt, betrayed, unloved, unworthy, and victimized by life, god, our own inabilities, our circumstance, or other-selves.

So instead of using this Neti Neti principle to refuse acceptance of appearances, other-selves, and ourselves—and thereby grow out of balance energetically—there is a healthier, much happier solution:

Forgiveness, or Love.

The stoppage of the inertia of action (karma) may be called Forgiveness.Ra, a humble messenger of the Law of One

Victim-Forgiveness Formula – Love your Catalyst

If there is any resentment left toward the appearance—and please be utterly honest with yourself if this is so, otherwise you’re only limiting your own happiness—then this indicates an underlying belief that the appearance can hurt you or make you lose power or freedom in some way.

Here is the basic formula if such a belief of potentially being hurt or disempowered by an appearance exists in you:

  1. Observe it (identify it)
  2. See that its truth doesn’t hold up against the brilliant and perfect Presence that you really are (Neti Neti)
  3. Forgive the thought, and forgive yourself for believing in it (Balancing Wisdom with Love)

As a result:

  1. You have become more conscious of a heretofore unconscious belief that distorted your ability to stand in the power of your true light/love;
  2. You have realized that what it suggests to be true is not true in comparison to the unaffected, bright perfection of I-AM-ness, and as a result you no longer believe in the thought, nor let it limit your radiance, and…
  3. You feel great love and appreciation—or forgiveness—for the belief, for yourself and whatever or whomsoever else was a part of this self-revealing process.

If you can not feel love/joy/forgiveness for the catalyst that offered you the self-revealing experience, then that means you still actually believe in the disempowering thought that suggests the appearance (the catalyst) can harm you, hurt you, or affect you. This is important to admit and acknowledge in yourself, if so.

Feeling sublime Love for the appearances you realize you are not, is the signature vibration of having begun to unify Wisdom with Love.Bentinho Massaro

Hence, the solution—if you do not feel total love towards all appearances involved—is to be really honest with yourself, and re-observe the underlying belief and its suggestion of being a victim of the threatening appearance.

You have to be really honest with yourself, precisely because a victim mentality fears that if it admits it has a belief that suggests it is a victim of appearances, that means that it is a failure in some way and less loveable; therefore, it associates admitting a “flaw” with further hurt or non-acceptance. The victim in us doesn’t like to admit it has become victim to victim mentality. 🙂

As such, the victim in us does everything it can to deny the fact that it still assumes victim status. Hence total self-honesty is required.

The victim mentality is the most vicious cycle I have ever encountered. Most people have a little bit of it, whereas some are lived entirely by it. I wish this latter state upon no man, truly. But hey, if this is you, you probably won’t be bothered by it or even know about it, because that would be too painful to admit. Ignorance is bliss to the victim in all of us.

I am sending love, light and forgiveness to you, me, and humanity right now and to all the beings who assume victimhood in some way. Why don’t you join me in this for a minute?

Relax your mind and visualize the feeling of love, lightness, and forgiveness being sent out at the speed of light to all corners of creation, especially planet Earth and its inhabitants; let this pulsation happen with every single beat of your heart, like a beacon that envelops everyone without exception and lets them know they are perfect, exactly as they are, already accepted and forgiven, already loved and worthy to exist.

Also to that one person you really don’t like… or all of them.

Also send this message to yourself.

Thank you.

Bottom-line: be as honest with yourself as you dare to be, and then bring even more brightness of Presence-Consciousness to the belief that suggests you have been a victim of an appearance.

Bring faith, trust, and confidence into the mix, and ask yourself if the belief and what it suggests about you is actually true.

Can the appearance you fear actually hurt or limit you, or is the idea that it can touch you just an outdated, silly thought?

Hold the idea that an appearance can stop or harm you against the light of ever-present Consciousness-Beingness, until it is absolutely clear to you that Consciousness-Beingness most certainly cannot be hurt, and that the only pain you felt was the pain of believing you could be hurt, when in fact you cannot.

To believe in something that our Higher Self disagrees with, or sees as untrue, is our only source of pain.

This pain is meant to signal us back into alignment with the higher truths of existence; it is meant to grab our attention and point us in the right direction.

It is not meant to be feared or avoided, but to be welcomed and utilized instead.

When we use the catalyst known as pain effectively, the pain ceases, for its reason for being is exhausted.

If we avoid, deny or ignore it, it will come back in greater volume until, finally, we pay courageous attention because the only alternative left is death or intense inconvenience.

Do not let a painful thought turn into a broken leg that ruins your vacation; do not let anger turn into a cancer.

Pay attention to what doesn’t feel good and be excited about the misinformed beliefs that pain has the ability to reveal to you.

When you bring the light of your Consciousness to these misaligned perceptions, you simply watch them transform into bliss, and your circumstances heal accordingly.Bentinho Massaro

Self-Forgiveness Meditation

Sit down, take a deep breath, and relax all mental tension for 2-5 seconds…

Then proceed to visualize sending the feeling of love to the deepest corners of your conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind.

Transmit the feeling of a soothing, cleansing, washing-away kind of profound forgiveness to all parts of your mind/body/spirit beingness.

Do not be afraid of what may be pulled into the light by tapping into this higher vibration than you’re used to. Light tends to bring our attention to the shadows that were heretofore hidden by the darkness that surrounded them. You’re not seeing anything that wasn’t already there all the time anyway, so don’t be afraid of them. Now at least you’re conscious of them!

Always remember that seeing a negative thought or belief is a positive occurrence, for it allows you to let your light of Consciousness-Beingness transform the shadow into light, by simply seeing that the negative idea doesn’t hold up against the obvious brightness of Being and the limitless worthiness of your existence.

Your right to exist, to be, and to make “mistakes” has been fully granted to you by Existence itself. If not, you would not exist. Hence, you are not a mistake and you can’t really make any either. You can only learn.

Bring this feeling of trust and self-appreciation with you into meeting your negative beliefs, and remember again that seeing negative beliefs indicates positive progress: if you weren’t brighter now than you were before, the shadows would still have remained in the dark.

You see the negative ideas only because you are shining already. Do not fear the newly-revealed shadows, for they signify the presence of your increased light.

Sit, relax, and send this love/light to yourself, meeting honestly whatever comes up with a sense of excitement to accept and transform the belief.

Keep experiencing these feelings of love and forgiveness and brightness with increasing intensity, and possibly even with a blissfully expansive feeling in your heart and a smile on your face, for approximately 10 to 20 minutes in a single, continuous sitting.


  1. Read this text at least twice more before proceeding to the next lesson.
  2. Memorize and apply the 3-step “Victim-Forgiveness Formula – Love your Catalyst” with any belief you have about fearing a particular appearance, any belief that you may otherwise feel tempted to ignore or reject.
  3. Do the Self-Forgiveness Meditation at least 3 times, at different times, before proceeding with the next lesson.

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