Lesson 22 – True Acceptance, Total Allowance
One of the most powerful—and irreversible—shifts that occurred to me early on in my spiritual seeking involved seeing with absolute clarity that everything that happens must have been granted existence, and is therefore, in the eyes of Existence, already accepted. This showed me that acceptance wasn’t something I could ‘do’, for as soon as something appears, it is already allowed to be what it is. Acceptance has nothing to do with me. It simply IS. Bentinho Massaro
In this lesson, you will explore a most important, all-pervasive concept in spiritual awakening: the principle of True Acceptance.
Acceptance can be attempted as a constant practice. While this isn’t half-bad at all, for the adept there awaits to be unlocked a much more direct, powerful, and revealing way to go about experiencing total allowance for oneself and all that occurs in one’s experience of life.
To Replicate or Realize
Once again, we arrive at the recurring choice to either try and imitate, or replicate, that which is already so perfectly accomplished by Existence itself, or to simply re-align our vision with that of Existence, and hence see as it already sees.
When you have the choice between practice and realization, always aim for realization first, because it often renders a huge amount of practice redundant. This does not mean we shy away from the attitude of dedication and practice. It simply means we aim to find the shortest, most comprehensive route to our goal, always, so that the same dedication/practice otherwise spent on practicing the first idea, can now be spent on practicing something of a more advanced nature.
There is no way to skip over lessons and practices that truly need your attention on your unique spiritual path; yet there also is no reason to spend a huge amount of precious life-span working on something that can be achieved in a finger snap moment of realization instead.
Realizing what’s always already here, and hence, seeing as Existence sees, is a practice in and of itself. It is often far more fruitful and revealing than the practice of replicating what has already been achieved by life.
Replicating what already is, is essentially the same as realigning one’s vision with reality, except it includes the notion that what you are trying to achieve does not yet exist, and so you will create the illusion of “needing a lot of time to practice” a particular recognition before you will create conviction in that recognition.
If instead, you see that what you’re trying to reach “down the line,” in terms of your practice, is already here, and you try to see, as clearly as you can, what’s already true now, you will save yourself a lot of precious life-time that can now be allocated to advance even further, to ascend even higher, to realize even deeper, to embrace even more completely, the fundamental truths of the Infinite One Creator and its infinite Creation.
Again, the words “always” and “already” are paramount in Trinfinity Academy. They can be applied to almost any practice or realization I suggest.
Can We Accept or Not Accept?
In the case of acceptance, we could adopt it as a practice by trying to accept our thoughts, emotions, and actions, and those of others. This is already a great attitude to cultivate, as it is a massive improvement over the resistance-state that most people experience every single day.
However, the adept is interested only in short-cuts that cover comprehensive ground, thoroughly yet directly, dispelling any long and winding roads we may otherwise believe we must embody.
When I was trying to achieve a state of greater acceptance in my practice, something felt intuitively “off” to me. It felt like I was doing something the “wrong way.” It felt as if I was going backwards, rather than forward.
As I examined this feeling and listened to my Heart, it was telling me that there is a more direct approach—that acceptance is more natural, organic, and uncontrived than me trying to accept the appearances within my consciousness.
Then, everything around me became sort of “highlighted,” for lack of a better word, and I saw the vibrancy, the aliveness, the ease, and the soothing allowance present in all things already.
Embodying the feeling of acceptance is that simple.
This is the difference between realizing something and attempting to replicate something that’s already the case. I stopped trying to “become someone who is accepting of things,” and instead, shifted my attention to notice, in truth, what’s always already going on: Everything that appears is allowed to appear, otherwise it would not have appeared!
I realized that I have no control over it, or any say in the matter. I saw the idea of me having to accept what already is as a funny and impossible notion. Why try so hard to accept what is already so obviously accepted into existence, by Existence?
Whether I accept what is or not, it will still be present; it will still exist. Whatever appears must have passed Creation’s filters of approval or it would not have been granted the right to appear as part of All That Is.
Ever since that moment of realizing the total allowance, the eternal acceptance inherent in the appearances of life, I stopped “trying” to accept what is. Instead, whenever I needed a dose of the frequency of “acceptance” to soothe my being and bring me back to greater wisdom, I simply chose to re-align my vision again with that of Existence by recognizing the acceptance that’s already here. And voilà! The very act of seeing as Existence sees transferred that frequency of allowance/acceptance/forgiveness into my state of being, effortlessly.
I did not need to “try hard to accept this painful emotion.” Acceptance just became obvious once again, and the painful emotion was seen to be brimming with the light of life, possessing its own right, its own worthiness, to exist as part of All That Is.
Trying to accept “what is” is like trying to arrive in time for an appointment that you’re already 20 minutes late for.Bentinho Massaro
Resistance to What Is
Everything is already eternally accepted; there is nothing we can do about this. Whether we accept what’s in front of our nose, or feel like it shouldn’t be there, doesn’t change the fact that it has the total right to exist.
If everything is imbued with the frequency of total allowance, or unconditional love, then why do so many of us experience so much resistance to “what is”?
This is a complex query that I cannot answer in a single lesson’s topic, but it will become wholly clear to you over multiple courses, including some in the Empowerment teaching.
For now, suffice it to say that we feel resistance because we believe our happiness is tied to certain appearances. If these appearances do not appear, and other appearances arise instead, we feel resistance against them because we believe the presence of these appearances is preventing us from being ourselves—preventing us from being happy.
Somehow we perceive “what is” to cause us lack of what is truly desired. Hence, we feel resistance in our system because we do not recognize the full abundance—the real truth—of that moment. We forget to place our trust in life itself.
I will refer you back to the earlier lesson, “Bye Bye, Attachments,” for more clarification on how we learn to associate our well-being with certain things, and interpret other appearances and circumstances to mean there is a lack of fulfillment.
So, when life seems filled with things we have labeled as “lacking happiness,” then of course we will feel a resistance in our body.
Resistance = The reluctance to accept an appearance because we believe that, if we allow ourselves to feel love and appreciation for the presence of the appearance we associate with non-happiness, we condemn ourselves to more of that unhappiness, because we “approve of it.”
An even simpler definition of resistance: Harboring the idea that lack is presently occurring.
This is the opposite of the truth of how life—of how energy—works.
The irony is this: When we learn to let go of our reluctance to feel love for the things we don’t prefer—in other words, when we appreciate the aliveness in all things, whether or not we prefer what we see—we allow ourselves to feel good and open to Life in the midst of appearances that our mind believes are less than perfect.
And when we allow ourselves to be in this state of openness and appreciation towards life—embracing all things as being part of the One Infinite Creation—we actually send out a frequency that will do the opposite of what we fear it will do: It will attract the goodness our heart truly desires to see manifest.
We fear that if we choose to feel good in the face of a non-preferred appearance, we will let more of it into our lives—so we think that rejecting it will keep it away. In reality, when we learn to feel good in the face of things we don’t prefer, the frequency of our state of being naturally purges the truly non-preferred things from our life, leaving us with what is truly relevant for us. This creates more room for the appearance of things that are more closely aligned with our true heart’s desire—the true expression of who we are—to come rushing into our experience.
Resistance = Believing that if you feel good about what you see, you will welcome in more of what you don’t prefer.
Solution = See the non-preferred appearance with the eyes of allowance and appreciation. By doing this, you will expel the things no longer relevant for you and attract more of the things you actually desire.
In other words, when you resist what you would call “negative or unwanted appearances,” you are actually keeping them in your life! They will continue to show up in some form until you say the magic words they want to hear: “I don’t prefer you but I love you, I accept you, I allow you, I embrace you, I see you as an equally valid expression of All That Is—of The One.”
As soon as you are able to courageously open up to feeling goodness in your heart toward the things you think you don’t prefer, they will thank you and leave you alone. On their way out of your experience of life, they will call for the things you actually desire to replace them. How kind of them! 🙂
You are the bottleneck in the flow of experiencing a life filled with grace and fulfillment—both internally and externally—in the reflection of your state of being and your circumstances.
If you stop resisting, by seeing as Existence sees—by seeing that all of you, including your resistance, is already accepted into existence; that it is already allowed to be experienced—then you release your attachment to “resistance-energy” and things will start flowing in and out of your life more efficiently.
You start to accelerate your expansion.
Should I surrender my preferences? Are they a form of resistance?
Again, we cannot accept or not accept; we can only pretend to believe something shouldn’t exist.
When we believe something shouldn’t exist, we can realize that even that belief and the feeling of resistance that results from it, are both experiences that already happened. Therefore, they are already eternally allowed to be, as well.
But what about preferences? Are preferences “bad”? Are they resistance-energy?
They can be, if they are preferences based on avoiding things you think are bad. But the clearer you become, the more often your preferences will reflect your being’s true preferences, which stem from a true desire coming from your Higher Self, connected to Source.
Depending on your present state of clarity—and for lack of a better word, “purity” or “alignment”—your preferences have either made way for the brilliance of your true inspirations and desires, or they are still a form of resistance to certain ideas you believe can harm you or deprive you of an abundance of well-being.
Again, this is where the scope of this lesson falls short in allowing me to fully answer the complexity of this matter without going off course. However, I will summarize what you need to know at this point to support you in resting in effortless Presence-Consciousness; in the ease of the natural allowance of all things.
As a very simple formula or guideline for those who feel unclear about whether they experience a true desire or a resistance-preference, here is my general recommendation:
First accept, then act.
If we’re wise, we recognize that we may not be at the point of having figured ourselves out completely yet. We may acknowledge—with no judgment, but rather with self-encouragement—that we do not yet see with absolute certainty what is a resistance-thought (felt as an anxious preference) and what is a true preference (felt as pure excitement, resonance, or inspiration) within our being.
As such, before making any changes in your experience, before acting on any preference, first take a moment to fill your heart with the seeing that everything is essentially allowed to be exactly as it is. Tune into that sense of totality, of harmony, of allowance, of acceptance, of natural perfection, until you feel no trace left of being at war with “what is.”
In this state of harmony with Existence—this state of freedom—you have surrendered the preferences in yourself that were based on erroneous ideas that certain appearances have the ability to prevent you from being free or happy; hence, you preferred them to not be present.
Now that you’ve filled your heart with clarity, with the frequency of Existence’s eternal acceptance and appreciation of the infinite intelligence present in all things, your inner guidance mechanism will show you whether or not it is right to execute your preference and change your circumstances in that moment.
In this way, you minimize the potential for shooting yourself in the foot and for accumulating more nonsense and experiences that you don’t actually prefer—out of your resistance to life as it is.
Ultimately, what will enable you to be absolutely clear on whether your preference is based in resistance or based in your heart’s passion for something different than what you’ve previously attracted into your consciousness, is the dedication, practice, and honesty you put toward investigating whether your preference has its root in fear.
Fear always comes from the belief that lack exists or can exist (if you don’t take certain actions to prevent it, for example).
So, if there is any fear or hesitation preventing you from accepting the validity of a present circumstance, because you fear that acceptance of it means you are admitting defeat to things you don’t want; and if you fear this means you are letting more of the things you have defined as implying “lack” into your life, then this is a sign that your preference—even if it is connected to a true desire for more authentic self-expression—is indeed, to some degree, colored by your fear of the existence of “lack.”
If you find this fear in yourself, simply go back to realizing that there is no lack, that lack never existed, nor can it ever exist; and realize that believing lack can occur to you feels bad precisely because your Higher Self is letting you know that it’s not true.
Over time, with dedication and practice, you will come to greater clarity and you will align your vision more and more with the way Existence sees.
No acceptance, no forgiveness, is complete without the acceptance and forgiveness of self. It is one thing to see that everything in your circumstances is allowed to be, and to feel an ever-growing connection to the aliveness within all appearances. But, where the art of recognizing total allowance becomes truly transformational is in seeing that everything about you and your person is already accepted, loved, and forgiven, as well.
Acceptance without inclusion of self is not acceptance—it is mere martyrdom. Many people are very forgiving of others, but are internally hard on themselves all the time.
Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you’re not being honest with your self-observation; it doesn’t mean you gloss over negative beliefs and harmful actions. Self acceptance simply means you include yourself in seeing that everything about you is already accepted.
Then, you can still ask others for forgiveness and apologize for behaviors you know are not in alignment with who you really are, and are not honoring of the free will and the infinite Creator that is inside the people you may have been acting misaligned toward. However, you know that even your “mistakes” are already a part of the inseparable canvas of The One expressing itself in all the ways it possibly can.
Respect, integrity, and awareness of others’ free will is paramount to the development and empowerment of yourself. You cannot amass much spiritual gravity (empowerment/alignment) if your mind-body being is not acting in alignment with your spirit and with what you know to be honorable—serving others as equal portions of the one Creation.
“Do not do to others what you would not want done to you.” This is actually a very profound and valid statement.
That being said, it can never hurt—and it will always help—to fully include yourself in the realization of already present acceptance and the potential forgiveness/healing process that results from seeing that you are already forgiven by Life itself.
Can I make mistakes?
You are worthy of your own self love; you are worthy of being forgiven. If you blame yourself for who you are, for what you’ve done, or for how you think, this is the time to stop believing you have to feel guilty.
Being responsible for your behavior and applying radically honest self-observation to every portion of your being, is not the same as assuming blame.
Ultimately, mistakes cannot be made, because all that happens is yet another expression of the Infinite Source that makes up All There Is. Mistakes are equally valid ways in which Consciousness can add to the expansion of Creation—which is The One’s expression and experience of itself.
You are creating and gathering experiences for the Infinite One to continuously learn more about its potential in manifest form. Do you think The One does not learn more about itself from what you have come to call “mistakes”? Do you not think that mistakes add to the expression of the Infinite Creator?
They do, as much as anything else does.
However, on a more relative level, there are more and less effective ways to go about expanding yourself and gathering more…let’s say, spiritual charge, critical mass, or purity.
Certain acts you know are not in alignment with the idea of “honoring free will;” not in alignment with seeing all parts as equal portions of The One that you owe your existence to as well, should definitely be examined and transformed.
If you commit yourself to being in integrity as much as you can and to observing the patterns that make you “wobbly” (or out of alignment) sometimes, and if you are able to honestly express apologies, gratitude, appreciation, and encouragement to other-selves, as well as to your own self, then natural acceptance can flow through your being freely and increase and expand your awareness of “unity with All That Is.”
You can always be forgiven, and, in fact, you can recognize that no matter what happens or happened, whether you like yourself for it or not, all of those appearances are already an equal part of your expansion of Creation’s experience of the One’s infinite possibilities.
Ultimately, all rivers end in the ocean, all ends well, and nobody is harmed. Eventually, all merges back into its Source and all is appreciated as having aided in this process. This includes, most definitely, you and your “mistakes.”
Nevertheless, for your own joy, if you feel like you’ve accumulated some “unfinished business,” or as some would call it, “karma” or “unpleasant bonds,” and especially if you feel you are not able to accept yourself, then please do yourself a favor and be honest about the fear of lack, which caused you to act in ways you feel are out of alignment with your spirit. Apply your dedication towards rectifying anything that is in your power to rectify, within reasonable means (that is, don’t become too dramatic about it by jumping off a bridge or something silly to prove to someone, and yourself, how sorry you are).
You are already forgiven—remember that. Rectifying your past actions, making amends, is simply for your own alignment and ease—to release events that you still, today, feel energetically tied to—and because you wish to accelerate even further your embodiment of Presence-Consciousness.
And remember, Presence-Consciousness sees all things and beings as equally its own. Hence, act in accordance with that knowledge to the best of your ability, and you’ll keep on empowering yourself, and doubling your empowerment, and tripling your empowerment, and so on.
In this way, you keep gathering and building up your ability to handle and withstand the pure light of Presence-Consciousness. I will explain more about the idea of “amping up your ability to channel love-light” in the Empowerment courses.
Total and complete forgiveness of self, other-self, and the events that have unfolded is the only thing that will relinquish all energetic bonds you have placed on events, due to actions taken that you’re not happy with.
The first step in rectifying anything is honest self-observation. If you act from the same space you acted from when you were out of alignment with your true self, then an apology or an attempt to make amends will most likely leave you with unsatisfactory results.
Forgiveness vs. Rectification
Of the two—forgiveness and rectification—ultimately, forgiveness is the more absolute way to go. First, because it’s already the case: you are already forgiven, and any attempt to rectify past actions is only a way for you to give yourself permission to feel “forgiven.” In reality, you are already forgiven.
But also, forgiveness is the more ultimate way because sometimes we simply cannot change or rectify certain events on the physical plane. However, we can always come to total forgiveness of self, other-self, and the events that unfolded.
Yet, I have found it incredibly rewarding for all parties to apologize, make amends, and to keep serving other-selves by seeing them as equal portions of my Self, of the Infinite One.
So, don’t feel guilty, sinful, or to blame, but do your best anyway, just because you can, and just because it feels good to be of service; to be in alignment on all levels of your being, as much as possible.
Do not let shame or blame energy reside within your energy body, because it dampens your ability to sense and use that inner light I was speaking about. It will dampen your happiness level.
And know, above all, the obvious cosmic truth that you are so totally and utterly loved.
So much so that Creation itself wanted you here. Just as any object or appearance in life is obviously already accepted by Existence itself, through and through (otherwise it wouldn’t exist exactly as it does), so too, are you already loved and accepted and intended to be here exactly as you are, through and through. Loved and accepted.
You are not expected to perform perfectly—that wouldn’t be fun and explorative enough. You are only “expected” to try your best and listen to your Heart.
Existence is not afraid of your mistakes—you are. Ultimately, they don’t mean anything and all is well. But if you cannot totally find full-hearted forgiveness for yourself, it is important that you do whatever you can to arrive at that resolution anyway, by honoring the other-selves involved as the equally valid expressions of the Infinite that they are.
Don’t separate yourself out by not loving yourself, when All That Is is already inclusive of you and fully in love with you, your foolishness, and your “mistakes”—and is most grateful for your increased dedication toward seeing and being the purity of life as it already is.
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Gautama Buddha
The True Acceptance Exercise
Perform the following exercise four times, each time with a different object of focus:
- First, apply true acceptance to a physical object, ideally a flower, a tree, or something you can already easily see the aliveness and beauty in.
- Second, apply it to an intangible, non-physical appearance (feeling, action, circumstance, failure, pattern, tax papers, money, etc.) in your life that you presently have a hard time accepting and feeling love for.
- Third, apply it to an other-self who you perhaps don’t like so much, or who you truly don’t resonate with. Not resonating with someone doesn’t mean you cannot see and feel the love and acceptance in and for them. See them in their entirety as being already in the light of total acceptance and forgiveness.
- Fourth, apply it to all of yourself—you as a total person-being, inclusive of all your thoughts, emotions, feelings, actions, your physical body, things you’ve said, patterns you keep recreating, and so on. Apply it especially to the things about yourself that you have a hard time accepting.
OK, it is time to see that everything is already accepted…
Stage 1: Connect to, or become one with, the appearance
Look at your chosen object, appearance, other-self, or yourself, and become one with it more and more by emphasizing the is-ness present in it.
Look at the appearance and notice what it looks and feels like. Refrain from judging it as much as you can. Just look at it being there—present, here, now.
Let it be exactly as it is, and keep yourself in a state of silent-gazing, in which you do not attempt to manipulate or form an opinion about the appearance.
Confirm/state/recognize that this appearance is made out of the same essence that makes up everything that is: is-ness itself—Presence-Energy.
See that it, just like all things, just like Creation itself, comes from the same One Infinite Source.
Imagine what it would feel like to be this object, person, or situation. What would it actually feel like if that appearance was your body?
Apply any other way of seeing this appearance that makes you feel more connected to its vibration, more aware of its is-ness—its essential presence.
Stage 2: See that it is already accepted
In your communion with this object, appearance, other-self, or self, realize the following:
- This object/appearance/other-self/self has a total right to be as it is.
- This object/appearance/other-self/self is completely allowed to exist by Existence itself; otherwise it wouldn’t be here.
- This object/appearance/other-self/self has an inherent validity of being, equal to any other expression of the Infinite One.
- This object/appearance/other-self/self does not have the power to cause lack to your existence; it is just being itself, innocently, brightly so.
See this object/appearance/other-self/self as perfectly present, shining, brilliant, and unique.
See that this object/appearance/other-self/self is already being experienced, so it’s too late to argue over its existence now.
See that this object/appearance/other-self/self is already accepted.
Once you do this exercise diligently with a specific object or appearance a few times, you will very quickly be able to apply it more immediately in every day circumstances. You will find yourself, in everyday life, more easily emphasizing—focusing on—the fact that the appearance you resist already exists, has already been experienced, and is already allowed to be here.
Every time you apply the true acceptance way of seeing things, you will increase your alignment with that of the fundamental is-ness of Presence-Energy and the infinite love of its Creator.
Then, more and more, the arguing with Existence will stop; the contractions caused by believing something can steal your happiness away from you will relax; your defensiveness will start to disappear; you will see everything more and more as the rest of your Self and not as separate from you; and you will see more as Presence-Consciousness sees.
You will rest in the non-referential joy of the Total Allowance of All There Is.
You will get to know unconditional love and personality-transcendent clarity.
Liberation! Joy! Bliss! Love! 🙂
Enjoy the simple act of seeing everything as already allowed to be exactly as it is.
This joy, this love, is what you truly are.
- Apply the True Acceptance Exercise as often as you want, to experience its liberating effects deepen in you and settle you into that heightened-but-natural state of perceiving bliss/love/light and feeling connected to all that there is.
- Read this lesson’s text at least once more before continuing on with the next lesson. Leave some time in between your repeated reading session(s) of this lesson, as this gives you the time to allow your being to integrate what has been shared before reading it again and locking it in permanently.
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